The good news about marriage today is that divorce rates are down. The bad news is that an increasing number of marriages are unhappy. Couples endure an unhappy marriage for a number of reasons but excuses usually include the children or they just hate to admit defeat.
Marriages rarely die an immediate death. It’s like the guy in a movie who’s shot several times but refuses to die. He stumbles and falls half a dozen times and just when you think he’s fallen for the last time, he gets up again and reaches out for help.
Many times this describes an unhappy marriage that hurts the husband and wife while they stumble and fall back but manage to hang on for one reason or another refusing to give up.
Divorce sometimes is a better alternative but only you and your spouse can determine that. If getting a divorce is the decision, the sooner you deal with it the better you’ll become more emotionally stable and able to cope with the situation. Divorces can be devastating on the entire family, especially if you let them linger before reaching an amiable breakup.
There are signs of trouble in marriage and they’re easier to resolve if you spot them early on. Small problems turn into big ones if you let your emotions get out of control. You may have seen some of these signs of trouble before the marriage but didn’t view them as problems. Why? There is more truth than not in the old saying that love is blind.
You may have married in spite of your better judgment and hoped your partner would change or thought you could work your magic charm and change your spouse. This rarely happens. So, what are some of the signs of a troubled marriage?
1. You no longer have fun with each other. No matter what you do, you wish you would have stayed at home and both of you are miserable.
2. Compliments are rare or non existent. Neither of you say anything nice about the other. On the contrary, criticisms are on the increase. You can’t do anything right and become afraid to do anything and withdraw.
3. You’re happier when your spouse is gone. The only time you can relax is when he or she is not at home and you can enjoy being yourself.
4. Neatness could be a problem if the other is a slob or a person who clutters and never puts anything away. One is always picking up behind the other.
5. One tries to save and the other spends money frivolously. This can be a major problem if bills go unpaid.
6. A lack of intimacy or sexual activity is a classic example of a lack of love in a marriage. It could also indicate that one or both of you are involved in an affair.
7. You on longer can agree on future goals and refuse to discuss anything beyond tomorrow.
Either accept these qualities in your partner or seek professional help. Qualified help can be found in person, in books or online. The sooner you seek help the better. Marriage problems can cause depression and anger affecting the entire family. Watch for these signs of a troubled marriage and resolve to take action.