A good friendship is something to treasure. A good marriage is something to cherish. Is it possible to combine the two and have the best of both worlds? Friendship usually comes before marriage but not always.
You’ve probably had many friends of the opposite sex you would not consider marrying. And, you may have heard someone who’s married comment that the spouse is also a best friend. Did the friendship develop before, during or after the marriage? If you once had a true friend who later became your spouse you’re fortunate indeed.
A friend is someone you can be totally honest and comfortable with. You can sit for hours talking and sharing dreams and ideas. They can inadvertently hurt you or cause you discomfort and you have no trouble forgiving them. A good friend is there for you no matter what happens and you care for them regardless.
Friends usually have common interests. You find interesting things to do together and show enthusiasm and encouragement for the other’s victories. If they fail and suffer defeat, you’re there to comfort and console. You have mutual respect for each other even if one does something embarrassing.
The more time you invest in a relationship the more stable and meaningful it becomes. Relationships gain strength when built on a steady incline. By pacing your relationship you gain insight into the character of your friend. You observe how they react to good and bad events.
As long as you remain friends, you can be comfortable with what the friend does even if it involves someone else. You’re not jealous of a friend but if you become romantically involved this will change and so will your demeanor.
You’ll probably become more demanding and possessive. Sharing your friend with someone else is not something you’ll permit anymore. The playing field has changed and you hope your friend agrees with the modification in the rules.
No doubt friendships can build a firm foundation for marriage. However, friends often never advance into marriage because the emotional charge is absent. If there is no physical spark then there’s no desire to move further. Marriage has lost many a good friend and friends have lost many a good spouse.
Of course, marriages cannot be built solely on physical attraction either. No one can survive and be intimate 24 hours a day. You must explore ways to have more in marriage than sex. Developing a good friendship after marriage has often averted divorce. It’s sometimes easier for lovers to become friends than the other way around.
Friendship and marriage are both things to be desired and acquired. Be grateful if you can experience both in the same relationship. Work together to base your marriage on both and create ways to keep them fresh and alive. A foundation with both is unshakable.