Being in a bad marriage rates right up there with open heart surgery and root canal. Good marriages are hard enough to maintain because in all marriages there are ups and downs, good days and bad nights.
Yet, many married couples elect to endure the bad situation for various reasons. Some are not even aware of the seriousness of the problem. If you’re experiencing a bad marriage, you should be the first one to know, right? Not necessarily.
Spouses who’ve come from homes of bad marriages often think this is the norm. They watched their parents tolerate a loveless marriage for the sake of the children. This usually doesn’t do the child any favors.
They grow up with a misconception of how a happy family should function. Then, when they encounter a similar rocky marriage they do nothing but roll with the punches, sometimes literally.
Signs of a bad marriage include no communication, no intimacy and no affection. There could also be physical and verbal abuse. If the husband or wife invents excuses to stay away from home, something is wrong. Without talking to each other there can be no hope for rectifying the situation. You must seek solutions together, accept what’s wrong and discuss change.
Don’t allow yourself to fall into a state of denial. You may consider marriage sacred and fear seeking help for fear of failure. Others remain in a bad marriage for the sake of the children or they’re afraid of hurting friends or members of the extended family. Don’t become a martyr to protect the feelings of others. Admit your situation and seek help.
People hold on to the hope they can salvage the marriage themselves and wait more than six years to finally give in a seek therapy or counseling. More than half the couples who seek a third party’s advice manage to save the marriage.
The sad news is that only one percent of couples seek therapy or counseling. You may know what the problems are but are afraid to admit them to yourself. A counselor can bring out the truth and offer remedies.
We often times are caught up in the Hollywood fantasy that in the end all things will work out and love will conquer all. It’s good to keep a positive attitude but there are times when you need someone to point out the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage. They can help you distinguish between infatuation and true love.
Living in a bad marriage can be dangerous to your health. Studies have shown that a bad marriage can lead to poor health and stress, not only for you but the entire family. The constant stress and unhappiness increase the risk of depression, eating disorders and coronary health. It also lowers the body’s resistance to sickness and disease.
Don’t be embarrassed by your situation and remain quiet and submissive. A bad marriage can be repaired with love, respect and a commitment to resolve the problems.
You must be honest with yourself and decide if your marriage is worth saving. Most marriages are, but the decision is yours.