Love is a wonderful thing, but can be the source of so much pain when you hit a breakup. One of the saddest moments of one’s life is to see the light of the love you have for someone gradually dwindle until it is extinguished. You try so hard and did all that you can to keep the fire burning, but the more you try,the faster the fire dies.
When you remember the wonderful times you spent together, you refuse to accept that it is over. You feel so much pain and the pain is heightened when you remember that the cause of the break up was not your fault. And you come to a point where nothing matters and you feel that you can never love again.
Hey, common, you can. A lot of people have passed through even worse circumstances and they survived and have loved and are loving again. However, it is a fact that such situation can be really devastating.
How to heal a broken heart and move on
Here are a few points on how to effectively deal with broken heart. The aftermath of a broken relationship can leave one stranded in the past. This is quite natural especially if you really love the person whom you broke up with. But it is important for you to know that you don’t have to live in the past.
You need to move on and turn a new leaf in your life.
You can only turn a new leaf in your life when you let go and decide whole heartedly to put the past behind you and move on.
Spend some time alone
In healing a broken heart it is important that you spend some time alone. Be sure to avoid all opportunities to meet with your Ex, at least for now. Meeting your Ex, can be a strong reminder of old sensation that you are trying to put behind you. Use this time to do those things that you love doing. This is the best time to read that novel or book that you have always longed to read, play some games, or even travel.
You can cry and laugh
Crying has some healing powers. Many people who have experienced broken heart reports that they feel much better after a cry. Believe me; Emotional tears relieves emotional stress and one way of healing a broken heart is by relieving emotional stress. In like manner, laughing could contribute to healing. Within the period you decide to spend alone, I recommend that you watch some comedies. This would help you laugh and as you listen to your self-laugh it gives you great assurance that you will get over the situation. It will as well make you feel better.
Understand and Forgive
There is no relationship that doesn’t have its strength and weakness. Take some time off and try to identify and understand what actually went wrong in the relationship. Learn from your mistakes and the mistake of your partner. This can prepare you for the future. Ensure that you forgive yourself and then forgive your partner as well.
One important component of healing of broken heart is forgiveness.
It cannot happen overnight, it takes some time especially when you feel really hurt. But the good news is that you can forgive if you put in some effort.
Time to visit new places and meet new people
After spending some time alone, it is time to visit new places with aim meeting new people and making new friends. The fact that you feel saddened does not mean that you should not go to new places, meet new people or make new friends. You may just find an interest or future love in the process.
Keep your self esteem intact
Sometimes when a relationship ends, one or both parties have this feeling of low esteem. There is a feeling of “I don’t deserve him” or “I don’t deserve her”. They wish they would have done so many things differently. They feel the relationship did not continue because they were not good enough or did not meet up to an acceptable standard. This feeling is extremely dangerous and damaging. It is also damaging to measure or compare one’s self to another. This attitude ends up building some kind of feeling of guilt and forgiving one’s self becomes very difficult. Therefore, stop thinking that way. It will never help. You are special. Begin to love yourself more and recognize the great qualities and potentials that are inbuilt in you.
Remove memories of the relationship temporarily
One important way of healing fast is by removing all that reminds you of the person and the relationship. Trying to pretend that the person does not exist is not the point but trying to remove things that reminds you of the person and the relationship, at least for now. Remove all letters, pictures or even references to the person and put them somewhere out of sight. You don’t have to burn or destroy those things that are associated with the relationship. They are part of your life. And someday perhaps when you are old and in love with somebody that loves you so much, you may want to remember what your love life were, up to that point. This time without any feeling of pain, guilt or anger.
Set some Goals
Goals encourage people to do something or even become better. This is a great period to set some goals about your life style. Set a goal to do more to live healthily.You could plan to exercise at least 3 times in a week. This can be refreshing to your mind and body. Make some wholesome changes in your meal. Try out some new things. Resist the temptation of bad eating habit. An example of this is that a lot of people increase their alcohol intake in situations like this. This will end up becoming another problem all together in the future.Ensure that you go to bed early and rise up early and perhaps, use that time to do some reading or studying. Set a goal to learn new things and to do better at work. You can begin by being more focused at work.
Healing takes time but you will certainly get through it
Be patient with yourself. Healing may take some time. Within this period associate with good friends. I am sure you have friends that loves you. They will be very happy to listen to you and help in any way they can. Spend some time with them. You could go to the movies, party or to the beach with them. These association and company will help a lot.
Moving on.. find hope and start dating again
Hope is a wonderful attribute. Hope gives you the assurance that you can heal. It provides you the proof that you can love again. So in all you do have hope that you will get through it.Finally, whenever you feel that you are ready, put the past behind you and begin to date once more. However, do not jump into serious relationships immediately especially, when you are not ready for that. Take things slow and I am sure that you will find love again.
Take Action Now
If you still not able to recover seek professional help. Qualified help can be found in person, in books or online. The sooner you seek help the better. Relation breakup problems can cause depression and anger affecting you mentally and physically. Watch for these signs of a troubled mindset and resolve to take action.